After she passed away, I had the privilege of choosing from my grandma’s old cookbooks those I wanted to keep. When I brought the books home and thumbed through them again, a piece of paper fell from one of the books to the floor. It was a note that my grandma had written in her own hand “Gone to the store, I’ll be right back.” It was signed “Love Sally.” The note was not written to me, it was written to my grandpa, but when I recognized her hand writing – I had to touch it. I wanted to caress each letter and somehow feel her presence. The note captured a moment in time, a moment of her everyday life and it was as if I had walked through the window of time and stood in her kitchen there with her while she poured herself into her work, cooking and baking and canning.
I could also see her later in life, as she aged, and was no longer able to stand for hours at a time in the kitchen. She kept her hands busy quilting, wanting to make sure all of her children, and grandchildren, and even many of her great grandchildren, had something made by her hands. She stayed up late at night, sometimes even falling asleep in the chair working on her beloved quilts.
On our wedding day, my grandma gave to me and my husband a wedding quilt. Each and every block, every strip that holds it together, the fine quilting - every stitch of it, was all done by her hand. That was almost twenty five years ago. On the back of the quilt, in her own hand writing was a note to me, “Made Especially for Karen, Love Grandma Sally.” When I pull that quilt out of its chest and wrap it around me I can feel every thought, and every prayer she said for me while she stitched on it, hour upon hour. Maybe even some of those prayers are still being answered today.
Although I never heard her say it, I know that in sharing her heart through her handiwork, she was offering the love of God. Reaching out to those she most cared about, hoping that they too, could find the peace and joy that she found in Jesus Christ.
My grandma died six years ago and I can’t count how many times I have reflected on her wisdom and her character when I’ve been troubled. Just having something that she has laid her hands on brings me a sense of longing to see her and a sense of peace, comfort, and hope knowing where she is.
On the day she died, there lying next to her, in the lap of a Hospice volunteer, was a note written to her that said, “I have gone to prepare a place for you…I will be back for you soon…. Love, Jesus” In that moment, I’m sure He grasped a hold of her hands, hands that had served Him well, and welcomed her home.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Confessions of a Christian Overeater - The Acceptable Sin
She wakes up in the morning hung over from her indulgences of the night before. Feeling sluggish and shameful, she shuffles into the bathroom and looks in the mirror.
“You did it again.”
Not wanting to face the reality of her condition, she says to herself,
“Today’s a new day; I’ll start over”
But, her reflection tells the truth. She didn’t believe it the first time or the second time or the thousandth time she said it. She knows this fight will continue to rage in her secret life. The life no one knows about except her and God and her adversary.
She hates that she is enslaved to this sin and promises herself that she won’t practice it anymore, but tonight when she is alone, she will be beckoned to its call and she knows it.
In the back room of her heart, where her secret is hidden, there also is a small voice and if she stops chewing long enough she can hear its message:
“Be sober; be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” ¹
She doesn’t feel sober. She feels drunk with shame and failure, because she devours whatever she can find in the pantry.
She has tried many times, but she can’t conquer her addiction. She over feeds her body and her soul is suffering. Her self-will is anemic. She is faint of heart, unable to get up and fight.
It’s hard for her to understand this part of her character. When it comes to other matters she is a spiritual warrior. She has every confidence in God. Dressed in regal, spiritual armor, no warfare waged against her can succeed.
She stands battle ready for the abominable sins; drunkenness, lying, cheating, stealing, blasphemy, sexual immorality, envy, jealously, etc., but when it comes to overeating she is not prepared. She is not equipped for this battle. This sin is accepted and practiced openly by most of society, including Christians.
Because of this the devil found a foothold, a vulnerable chink in her armor. Tonight when the house is quiet and the body is tired, when the battles of the day have been won, when her guard is down – her adversary will wage a full blown war against her. She knows that she will be over powered, and in disgust she knows she will bow to his forces once again. The adversary will walk about proud and vengeful, he will devour her – chew her up and spit her out.
With a deep gut wrenching sigh she puts away her secret and walks out of the bathroom to get dressed and puts on her happy Christian face. Sitting down to her computer she opens her email devotion for the day.
Encouraged by the message she thoughtfully thinks of ways to apply it - except to her secret life. It has been neatly tucked away and hidden in the deep recesses of her heart, not to be brought out in the light of day, because nothing, not even God himself, is strong enough to conquer her Goliath. Of course, she would never, ever say that to His face, but she believes it. She lives it.
God can save her soul, but she doesn’t really think he can rescue her from drowning in the pounds of fat that suffocate her in secret. If He was able to save her, he would have done it by now. She has prayed many times with a genuine confessing heart. But, without the results she asked for, she long ago decided that this is just her thorn in the flesh; her cross to bear; the way life will be for her and she continues down this path of plenty, picking up pound after pound along the way.
Dutifully, she opens her Bible and begins to read the assigned scripture - a story about David when he was a shepherd boy. The account of when he is sent out to find his brothers who are on the front lines of a ‘battle stalemate’ against the Philistines. He is perplexed that no one is going out to challenge a giant named Goliath – a big opposing soldier that has everyone putting down their weapons and retreating. Daily, this giant taunts them. This one man has the entire army of Israel convinced that they are defeated, that there is no possible way they can conquer the Philistines because of his prowess.
“Can’t you see how big he is?" "He can’t be defeated." "It will take special training and Special Forces," say the men of Israel’s in their discussions with David.
David agrees with them about the special forces and wonders why they can’t see God Almighty standing on the front lines holding back the enemy.
David doesn’t think that the situation with Goliath is any different than slaying a lion or a bear. “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." ²
After deliberations with the king, David scoops up five stones, his slingshot and boldly marches toward his enemy and proclaims:
“This very day God is handing you over to me. I'm about to kill you, cut off your head, and serve up your body and the bodies of your Philistine buddies to the crows and coyotes. The whole earth will know that there's an extraordinary God in Israel. And everyone gathered here will learn that God doesn't save by means of sword or spear. The battle belongs to God—he's handing you to us on a platter!" ³
David defeats Goliath with one stone and a slingshot. His confidence was not in himself or in his weaponry, his confidence was in God. There in the valley on that day, God ordained their day of victory.
With a quickened heart she sees herself in this seemingly impossible battle. Day after day she has believed the lie that her giant sin could not be defeated, but with an inspired spirit she realizes that it is not an army, or special weaponry that is needed to triumph over her sin; it is not diet books and special food; it is not exercise programs and 10 mile runs; it is the faith of one who believes that God is more powerful than the enemy. God has ordained the battle to be won, and it will take faith and a charge toward the enemy for the victory to be delivered into her hand.
Bowing her head, she prays a very different prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Encourage my heart – you are already standing on the frontlines and the battle is yours. Help me to stand confident and assured, without fear of failure, for it is not your plan for me to be rescued. It is your plan for me to be victorious!
Just as You were with David, when I charge toward the enemy - see to my victory. For I too, proclaim that you are an extraordinary God and that you will deliver me today!
Child of Mine,
My Spirit lives within you and we go to this battle together. Tonight, when it feels like all hell is breaking loose and is waging war against you – I AM here! This battle is mine! And, tomorrow you will see that you are more than a conqueror- you’re an over-comer!
¹1 Peter 5:8 (KJV)
²I Samuel 17:37 (NIV)
³I Samuel 17: 46-47 (The Message)
⁴Romans 8:38 (NIV)
Thirty days later she stands at the mirror and sees a soldier that is engaged in the battle, but now she fights the battle victoriously. Although her addiction is not completely dead and it still tries to taunt her and call her out, she has more success that failure. She has to remember daily that Goliath is dead - he has no power over her.
“You did it again.”
Not wanting to face the reality of her condition, she says to herself,
“Today’s a new day; I’ll start over”
But, her reflection tells the truth. She didn’t believe it the first time or the second time or the thousandth time she said it. She knows this fight will continue to rage in her secret life. The life no one knows about except her and God and her adversary.
She hates that she is enslaved to this sin and promises herself that she won’t practice it anymore, but tonight when she is alone, she will be beckoned to its call and she knows it.
In the back room of her heart, where her secret is hidden, there also is a small voice and if she stops chewing long enough she can hear its message:
“Be sober; be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” ¹
She doesn’t feel sober. She feels drunk with shame and failure, because she devours whatever she can find in the pantry.
She has tried many times, but she can’t conquer her addiction. She over feeds her body and her soul is suffering. Her self-will is anemic. She is faint of heart, unable to get up and fight.
It’s hard for her to understand this part of her character. When it comes to other matters she is a spiritual warrior. She has every confidence in God. Dressed in regal, spiritual armor, no warfare waged against her can succeed.
She stands battle ready for the abominable sins; drunkenness, lying, cheating, stealing, blasphemy, sexual immorality, envy, jealously, etc., but when it comes to overeating she is not prepared. She is not equipped for this battle. This sin is accepted and practiced openly by most of society, including Christians.
Because of this the devil found a foothold, a vulnerable chink in her armor. Tonight when the house is quiet and the body is tired, when the battles of the day have been won, when her guard is down – her adversary will wage a full blown war against her. She knows that she will be over powered, and in disgust she knows she will bow to his forces once again. The adversary will walk about proud and vengeful, he will devour her – chew her up and spit her out.
With a deep gut wrenching sigh she puts away her secret and walks out of the bathroom to get dressed and puts on her happy Christian face. Sitting down to her computer she opens her email devotion for the day.
Encouraged by the message she thoughtfully thinks of ways to apply it - except to her secret life. It has been neatly tucked away and hidden in the deep recesses of her heart, not to be brought out in the light of day, because nothing, not even God himself, is strong enough to conquer her Goliath. Of course, she would never, ever say that to His face, but she believes it. She lives it.
God can save her soul, but she doesn’t really think he can rescue her from drowning in the pounds of fat that suffocate her in secret. If He was able to save her, he would have done it by now. She has prayed many times with a genuine confessing heart. But, without the results she asked for, she long ago decided that this is just her thorn in the flesh; her cross to bear; the way life will be for her and she continues down this path of plenty, picking up pound after pound along the way.
Dutifully, she opens her Bible and begins to read the assigned scripture - a story about David when he was a shepherd boy. The account of when he is sent out to find his brothers who are on the front lines of a ‘battle stalemate’ against the Philistines. He is perplexed that no one is going out to challenge a giant named Goliath – a big opposing soldier that has everyone putting down their weapons and retreating. Daily, this giant taunts them. This one man has the entire army of Israel convinced that they are defeated, that there is no possible way they can conquer the Philistines because of his prowess.
“Can’t you see how big he is?" "He can’t be defeated." "It will take special training and Special Forces," say the men of Israel’s in their discussions with David.
David agrees with them about the special forces and wonders why they can’t see God Almighty standing on the front lines holding back the enemy.
David doesn’t think that the situation with Goliath is any different than slaying a lion or a bear. “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." ²
After deliberations with the king, David scoops up five stones, his slingshot and boldly marches toward his enemy and proclaims:
“This very day God is handing you over to me. I'm about to kill you, cut off your head, and serve up your body and the bodies of your Philistine buddies to the crows and coyotes. The whole earth will know that there's an extraordinary God in Israel. And everyone gathered here will learn that God doesn't save by means of sword or spear. The battle belongs to God—he's handing you to us on a platter!" ³
David defeats Goliath with one stone and a slingshot. His confidence was not in himself or in his weaponry, his confidence was in God. There in the valley on that day, God ordained their day of victory.
With a quickened heart she sees herself in this seemingly impossible battle. Day after day she has believed the lie that her giant sin could not be defeated, but with an inspired spirit she realizes that it is not an army, or special weaponry that is needed to triumph over her sin; it is not diet books and special food; it is not exercise programs and 10 mile runs; it is the faith of one who believes that God is more powerful than the enemy. God has ordained the battle to be won, and it will take faith and a charge toward the enemy for the victory to be delivered into her hand.
Bowing her head, she prays a very different prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Encourage my heart – you are already standing on the frontlines and the battle is yours. Help me to stand confident and assured, without fear of failure, for it is not your plan for me to be rescued. It is your plan for me to be victorious!
Just as You were with David, when I charge toward the enemy - see to my victory. For I too, proclaim that you are an extraordinary God and that you will deliver me today!
Child of Mine,
My Spirit lives within you and we go to this battle together. Tonight, when it feels like all hell is breaking loose and is waging war against you – I AM here! This battle is mine! And, tomorrow you will see that you are more than a conqueror- you’re an over-comer!
¹1 Peter 5:8 (KJV)
²I Samuel 17:37 (NIV)
³I Samuel 17: 46-47 (The Message)
⁴Romans 8:38 (NIV)
Thirty days later she stands at the mirror and sees a soldier that is engaged in the battle, but now she fights the battle victoriously. Although her addiction is not completely dead and it still tries to taunt her and call her out, she has more success that failure. She has to remember daily that Goliath is dead - he has no power over her.
Advice for My Son
These words of advice where written for my son while he was in his sophomore year of college.
Respect those in authority - God Himself is the one who has granted authority to all men. You must respect that!
Submit to authority - those in authority have been granted authority for a reason. Men who have gone before you know the pitfalls and are trying to save you from them. If they seem harsh it’s because the danger of failure or harm is present.
Rules are good - God made some Himself.
Take one day at a time - Each day has enough trouble in itself. Don't go looking for more stuff to deal with when today's plate is already full. God made 'day' a measure of time, for this purpose, so that we wouldn't try to fit all the worries, or work, or fun into one long continues load without a break. So,
Take a break - Stand up, take a deep breath, go for a run. Walk around campus and smile at people. Give your mind a break too. You don't have to figure it all out today.
Make time for people - They are who it's all about! We were put on this earth for relationship with them. Every goal in life has to do with people, so invest in them.
Do your laundry - Mindless chores are therapeutic.
Breathe, Laugh, Dance - It's good for you!
Sleep - When you lay your head down at night think of good things - like laughing and dancing.
Trust God - He made the plan.
Think about your Mom - she loves you and prays for you.
Believe - God is who He says He is. He can do what He says He can do. You are who God says you are. You can do all things in Christ. God's Word is alive and active in you. (Beth Moore, Believing God)
Be - humble, thankful, respectful, prayerful, and wise. Be a servant, a warrior, a leader, a counselor, a student, a teacher, a friend, an authority figure, a helper, an encourager, a spiritual leader. Be a man!
Walk on Water - step out of your comfort zone, grab onto the hand of Jesus and do what He has asked you to do. It's a mighty thing!
Love - deeply and fully. It's one of God's blessings, so pour yourself deeply into His plan and His children. It's an act of sacrifice - a drink offering, holy and pleasing to the Lord.
Immerse yourself - in the Word of God. I'm talking full immersion baptism. Get in over your head and then walk around dripping it off on people.
Pray Hard - You've heard "Battles are won on our knees" it's true. Think about it, a battle is not won by one person it's won by a mass force of power. Look around; ask God to open your eyes and allow you to see angels sitting on chariots of fire.
Be Silent - it's the only way you can listen. God's greatest revelations happen in silence.
Wise is the man who takes the words of his mother to heart and applies them.
I love you son,
Mom
Respect those in authority - God Himself is the one who has granted authority to all men. You must respect that!
Submit to authority - those in authority have been granted authority for a reason. Men who have gone before you know the pitfalls and are trying to save you from them. If they seem harsh it’s because the danger of failure or harm is present.
Rules are good - God made some Himself.
Take one day at a time - Each day has enough trouble in itself. Don't go looking for more stuff to deal with when today's plate is already full. God made 'day' a measure of time, for this purpose, so that we wouldn't try to fit all the worries, or work, or fun into one long continues load without a break. So,
Take a break - Stand up, take a deep breath, go for a run. Walk around campus and smile at people. Give your mind a break too. You don't have to figure it all out today.
Make time for people - They are who it's all about! We were put on this earth for relationship with them. Every goal in life has to do with people, so invest in them.
Do your laundry - Mindless chores are therapeutic.
Breathe, Laugh, Dance - It's good for you!
Sleep - When you lay your head down at night think of good things - like laughing and dancing.
Trust God - He made the plan.
Think about your Mom - she loves you and prays for you.
Believe - God is who He says He is. He can do what He says He can do. You are who God says you are. You can do all things in Christ. God's Word is alive and active in you. (Beth Moore, Believing God)
Be - humble, thankful, respectful, prayerful, and wise. Be a servant, a warrior, a leader, a counselor, a student, a teacher, a friend, an authority figure, a helper, an encourager, a spiritual leader. Be a man!
Walk on Water - step out of your comfort zone, grab onto the hand of Jesus and do what He has asked you to do. It's a mighty thing!
Love - deeply and fully. It's one of God's blessings, so pour yourself deeply into His plan and His children. It's an act of sacrifice - a drink offering, holy and pleasing to the Lord.
Immerse yourself - in the Word of God. I'm talking full immersion baptism. Get in over your head and then walk around dripping it off on people.
Pray Hard - You've heard "Battles are won on our knees" it's true. Think about it, a battle is not won by one person it's won by a mass force of power. Look around; ask God to open your eyes and allow you to see angels sitting on chariots of fire.
Be Silent - it's the only way you can listen. God's greatest revelations happen in silence.
Wise is the man who takes the words of his mother to heart and applies them.
I love you son,
Mom
Grace and Mercy
My finite mind cannot comprehend the extent of God’s grace and mercy. Although I think I understand the method and purpose of salvation, I believe that God’s mercy goes far beyond what I can fathom.
I’ve been on this earth long enough to realize that I am not capable of understanding the magnitude of our Creator’s plan beyond my own lowly, and simple life, and I cannot for one minute size up what is in another person’s heart. The only thing that I can be sure of is that grace and mercy are needed and should be extended to those who cross my path, whether I or they understand the need or not.
My husband’s grandma is 85 and has just recently been placed in a nursing home. Over the length of her life she has attended church regularly and has said her prayers to God and the Saints. Her understanding of Christ is different than mine. I hope she already knows about mercy and grace, as her mind is not able to process new information anymore.
My husband’s grandma is 85 and has just recently been placed in a nursing home. Over the length of her life she has attended church regularly and has said her prayers to God and the Saints. Her understanding of Christ is different than mine. I hope she already knows about mercy and grace, as her mind is not able to process new information anymore.
Her priest came to offer her communion and she found great comfort in the acceptance of it. The knowledge she has of God and his Son Jesus Christ is different than the knowledge and understanding I have of Him. He is my friend and counselor. I am not sure how she understands Christ’s love for her. But, I do believe that when she is fearful she goes to Him. I believe that with whatever cognitive ability she has remaining that she is looking to God for help and salvation.
I may know without a doubt that I am His child and will spend eternity in His presence, and she may not have that surety, but I don’t believe her meager understanding of Christ’s love negates her salvation. God is so much bigger than that. His mercy escapes the box I’ve put Him in. There is not a right way to accept forgiveness or salvation. A generic repeated prayer does not escort someone into the presence of God – it is what’s in a person’s heart that ushers them into Christ’s awaiting arms. A heart that truly reaches toward heaven expectantly "in Christ’s name, receives whatever he asks for. " John 16:24b
Consider the story of the widow who gave her last two coins…."she out of her (spiritual) poverty gave all that she had..." Luke 21:4 (paraphrased). Christ recognized her and saw what was in her heart.
Grace and mercy absorb the lines that are drawn between church denominations and doctrinal beliefs and reach right into the heart of those who seek Him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
